If your son asks for a fish, will you give him a snake?

I am a member of a private group on Facebook for church of Christ “survivors.”  A woman posted in the group and said that she was having trouble attending other church because she was “wierded out.” Since that has been a major problem for me, here is my response to her:

I grew up in the cofC, left, and then went back because every other church I went to was “weird.”  I attended a very conservative cofC for about 6 years, and then absolutely could not take it anymore.  We finally left for good about two years ago.  Here are some things I did that really helped, and some things I wish I did—–

1.  Take time off.  At least six months, maybe a year.  Enjoy it! Sleep in, go see movies, have breakfast in bed, use the time you are not giving to church to give to yourself.  Treat this like an illness, give your body and mind time to recover.  Pray daily that God or the Divine Good in the world will lead your footsteps.

2.  Stop reading your Bible. Realize there are many, many different ways to read the Bible and the church of Christ has one particular way.  Take a break.  Give your mind and soul sometime to clear the junk.  Read other Spiritual authors.  Let the Holy Spirit speak to you and take time to think about what is meaningful for you.

3.  After you have taken sometime for yourself—-Visit, visit, visit, visit.  Treat this as if you were a reporter and you were writing an article on each church.  (This is why I write a blog.)  Challenge yourself to really get outside your comfort zone.  Always wanted to visit a Hindu temple?  Go now!  This is a little like dating, if you are not looking at each church as a potential mate but just an opportunity for adventure, the “weirdness” will go away.

4.  After a while you will find things you like and things you do not like.  Some people like a lot of ritual, others like a more casual fun atmosphere, some like big bands and impressive audio visual displays, some like quieter, more intimate settings.  None of these things are wrong; none of these things are a sin.  These are just personal preference.  Remember Jesus said nothing about how to worship.  He only spoke about the condition of your heart while you are doing it.

5.  Pray daily that God or the Divine Good will lead you.  Write these words on your heart—

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” Luke 11:9-13

 

6.     Eventually I feel like God led me to a church.  I had a “Holy Spirit” feeling and really believe that God (metaphorically) said, “This is the church for you!”  Then I dusted off my Bible and researched the hell out of this church.  I read, I googled, I visited, I emailed the leadership.  Right now we are giving this church a year before making any final decisions.  But I feel very good about this process.  God bless you in your journey.  It is one that many of us have made.  We are praying for you.

~ by guideguardanddirectus on February 21, 2013.